Pay-Per-Match ENM Matchmaking

Do you want a partner who shares your non-monogamous relationship style and desire for lasting connection — and you're tired of swipes on apps going nowhere? Through DateSpot's state-of-the-art algorithm and filters, we can identify like-minded members - then add a personal touch, sharing their videos - to show you who people really are and lead to your most compatible match.

get matched

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get matched

closeup of woman's hands around the back of her partner's neck, focusing on the back of the man's head

EFFICIENT & EFFECTIVE

Elevated non-monogamous Dating

Dating online is a mess. It's exhausting, full of fake accounts, ghosting, minimal info, and people who treat it all like a never-ending game. Matchmaking is different as it's private, intentional, and provides much more info than the apps can. Typically matchmaking is expensive and all paid upfront. But with DateSpot, we make matchmaking affordable and completely pay-as-you-go.

How Are We Different From Other Matchmakers?

Wider Reach

We use our unique partner network of 500+ companies to expand your match options.

Per-Match Pricing

No huge upfront fee. Pay only per connection at $499. Opt out anytime.

No Blind Dates

We share profiles with at least four recent photos, ensuring mutual attraction.

25,000+

ENM individuals through our network

30+

Data points shared per profile

83%

Of members want a second date with their match

Our ENM Members

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DateSpot members vary widely in age, location, lifestyle, faith, politics, ethnicity, and relationship type desired. If you want someone who is interested in an open relationship or a specific sub-type like polyamory, monogamish, Closed V, equal triad, swinger couple, or polyfidelity, we can zero in on it. We care about helping everyone and advocating for equality and open-mindedness. The photos here are real members who have given special permission to be listed on our site.

Who Is Matching Me?

Meet Carla Guarnay, DateSpot's Founder and a Silicon Valley-based matchmaker since 2014. Having worked at Google optimizing ads for 7 years, she's adept at marketing (in this case, you), strategizing for each client, leveraging tech, and ensuring matched expectations from what's promised to what's delivered.

Carla is a wife and mom who loves to play tennis and board games. She created the industry's Matchmaker Directory (so she's especially well-connected) and serves as the Product Advisor for SmartMatchApp, the #1 matchmaking CRM.

Unlike traditional services that separate sales people from matchmakers, your entire process is handled directly by Carla, for a consistent, expert-led experience from start to finish.

PROCESS

How Does It Work?

Create Your Account

Complete a fun and insightful questionnaire so we can understand your background, lifestyle, and preferences. This helps us identify deep-level compatibility among our members.

Get A Match Review (or Wait For Free)

You can pay for an optional $49 Match Review, where we assess your match potential within our network. You’ll receive a personalized overview of your opportunities, including top Recommended Dates.

If you qualify to be a Client with 15+ potentials, we'll invite you to book a Match Strategy Call ($299) for optional dedicated support.

Otherwise, you can just join the database and wait for any future matches to be identified.

Select Who You're Interested In

If you get a Match Review, you select who you’d like to meet, if there's mutual interest. Those who pay for a Match Review receive one proactive search and ad hoc options after. Clients receive at least one Recommended Date per week for four months.

Whatever tier you're in, you always get a say in who you meet based on detailed profiles with photos. You only pay when there is mutual interest.

Meet & Share Feedback

We intro people via text for you to arrange the video or in person date, or we can coordinate for an add-on fee. Afterwards, share feedback via a quick form so we can refine with future matches if needed. We share relevant feedback to Clients to provide clarity and opportunities for growth.

How We Match Members

We are extremely thoughtful and efficient about how we match people, combining profile data, compatibility research, advanced tech, and personal intuition.

We know that most successful partnerships are within 15 years and use that as a max range. We also think your match should balance you in personality and energy.

Here is a partial list of what we take into account and can filter by:

Relocation
People who are open to moving to you anytime or eventually.
Education
Similar levels are common in couples, but we ask how important it is to you.
Drinking habits
Drinking “socially” is too general. We break it down into five dimensions.
Drug habits
Frequency of use & what you’re open to in a partner, even by type.
Smoking habits
How often you smoke cigarettes and what you're open to in a partner.
Fitness level
How frequently someone works out to help determine lifestyle alignment.
Pets
Whether someone has a dog and/or cat and how they feel about them.
Eating habits
Whether you eat everything, are health-conscious, a vegetarian, etc.
Personality
Traits like intellectually curious, kind, growth-oriented, athletic, adventurous, etc.
Values
What do you prioritize in your life - independence, family time, ambition, etc.
Interests
There should be some overlap, and we can filter for any hobbies you love.
Religious views
How do you identify, how do you practice, and how important is alignment?
Political affiliation
What you identify with politically and importance of alignment
Love languages
Which of the 5 Love Languages do you give and want to receive most.
Family
Family-oriented, close with their birth family, froze their eggs, etc.

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Outreach To Partners

As part of our unique model, we partner with many companies that have access to our database and can identify you as a potential match for their paying members. When you're our Client, we can also proactively reach out to them, including the ENM-specific ones, to ask who they have in their databases, giving them a commission incentive for a referral. This means you can get matches from them for a fraction of the cost if you were a client of theirs directly.

Testimonials

"Thanks for creating a new question in your system to help find what I'm looking for. You're clearly creative, dedicated and know how to customize to each person."

Christian

Albany, NY

"Thank you for all your help! This is an amazing resource of singles. I just wish I had found you earlier!"

Ashley

Seattle, WA

"I’ve been so impressed with Carla, her team and approach. I’d recommend DateSpot to all my single friends, male and female, who are looking for a new way to meet eligible matches. Carla has developed a cool new dating 'mousetrap'!"